can we get nightvision for the apartment?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
