So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
