ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
