38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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