When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
