My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
It's shark week go big or go home
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
