Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
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