Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
