dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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