Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
