Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
