Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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