Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
