Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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