If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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