I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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