Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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