I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
