I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
