I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
