whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
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