Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I FOUND THE LEGS
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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