Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
