I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
