I swear she didn't look like that last week.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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