I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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