We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize