yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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