i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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