You don't have asthma, your pregnant
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Randomize
