Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
