wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
