just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
