We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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