walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
