We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
