is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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