i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
