I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
