How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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