covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
