Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
When are your genitals available?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
