You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
