OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
