No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
