I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
