I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
