i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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