so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
