once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Randomize
