If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
