If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
