I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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