So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
