this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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