is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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