I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
