not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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