I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
