I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
