just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Randomize
