Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
