She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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